Let’s say you’re in a rocky phase of your relationship. Throughout this turbulence, there’s been someone—a friend—who’s demonstrated a particular interest in your wellbeing, especially now. During a vulnerable conversation, this friend slips in a revealing comment, “You know, if things don’t work out, I’ve always been here for you. It’s not like you’d be alone.”
This is just one example of vulturing, which TikToker Lisi Maldonado said is when someone “has kept their eye on a romantic relationship that they knew was going to come to an end.”
Usually, the vulture preys on the victim’s vulnerability to get what they want.
“They had been made privy to every single thing that caused the demise of that relationship,” said Lisi Maldonado. “They know all the right things to say and do to ultimately swoop in and take advantage of the people that were once in that relationship.”
Here are some key signs to recognize vulturing behavior in a relationship:
Swooping in During Vulnerability
Beware of those who suddenly appear during your weakest moments.
These vultures detect when you’re grappling with a breakup or when there’s trouble in your romantic life. Initially, they offer support and a listening ear, which might seem comforting.
Trust, however, can be part of their strategy to set the stage for their own romantic entrance.
The Perfect Timing
The pursuit by a vulture is premeditated and strategic. They express their romantic interest precisely when you become newly single or are reeling from a recent emotional upheaval.
This pattern isn’t a coincidence—it’s a calculated move to catch you at a time when you might be more receptive to their advances due to your vulnerable state.
Love Bombing
This tactic is disarming and often overwhelming.
Love bombing is when a vulture overwhelms you with affection, attention, and romantic gestures that quickly escalate to create a sense of deep connection.
But don’t be misled—this intensity is rarely about a deep emotional investment in your well-being but rather a manipulative ploy to bind you to them swiftly.
Fake Concern
Despite how much they seem to care about your well-being, a vulture’s actions are ultimately self-serving.
Genuine concern for your healing process takes a backseat to their primary goal: establishing a relationship with you.
Their so-called support system is a means to an end, and that end is not your recovery.
Watching and Waiting
Vultures often use social media as a tool to track your relationship status.
They keep a close eye on any changes in your posts, photos, and online interactions.
It’s a modern hunting technique to pinpoint the perfect time to make their move.
Boundary Breaches
A vulture has little regard for the appropriateness of the situation. In fact, these people don’t shy away from crossing boundaries.
They might flirt or push for a connection even when you’re clearly committed elsewhere.
Be on the lookout for their willingness to disregard your boundaries in pursuit of their own interests.
Guarding Against Relationship Vultures
Don’t be fooled: While a vulture’s behavior may seem harmless on the surface, their methods are inherently manipulative.
By prioritizing their interests, they risk compromising your emotional stability and wellbeing—a selfish act that benefits no one in the long run.
“If you find yourself in the presence of someone that knows all the right things to say and do, and they knew about your past relationship and what caused its demise, be aware of their true intent,” said Lisi Maldonado.